The International School Sports Organization (ISSO) hosted its annual national athletics meet from October 19th to 21st, 2024. The excitement of freedom from my usual life and the prospect of bringing home medals filled my head as my underprepared body first stepped into Lemon Tree Hotel, Gurgaon. The hotel was conveniently close to Tau Devi Lal Stadium, the venue of the competition.

I was competing in the U17 category for Long Jump, 110m Hurdles, and Triple Jump. At 15, with only a week of experience in two of the three events (110m Hurdles and Triple Jump), my hopes for a medal rested entirely on Long Jump. Over the years, Long Jump had evolved into my forte - I would usually bag gold in intra-school events and had placed on the podium at every inter-school event I participated in. I hoped to replicate this success at the national level by winning ISSO, which would also guarantee my qualification for the School Games Federation of India (SGFI). Only the top two athletes would qualify, so even a podium finish wouldn’t be enough - the stakes were high.

On the first day of the event, my only scheduled event was the triple jump. Although the techniques required for long jump and triple jump differ significantly, at the inter-school level, skilled long jumpers could be expected to translate much of their prowess into triple jump, and vice versa. Consequently, my coach and I were confident that a top-two finish was possible, especially considering that, in my one week of training, I had already matched the distance of the previous edition’s third-place finisher. With adrenaline coursing through my veins, surely I would be able to contend for a qualifying position, right?

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Turns out, it wasn’t so easy! Although I managed to make the top 8, I barely scraped a 4th place finish after a grueling six jumps that progressively sapped more of my energy - a harsh reminder that my lack of training efforts would come back to bite me. One cannot expect to waltz into a national-level tournament with practically no training and compete with conditioned athletes from around the country. My habit of showing up to training only a few days before a tournament, like I had numerous times for other inter-school events, was no longer tolerated. And so, I dejectedly trudged into my room that night, trying to mentally prepare myself for my next two events.

Fortunately, after a good night’s rest and a tasty breakfast, my spirits were sky-high again. It was time for my main event, long jump, followed soon after by hurdles. As I warmed up for my first event, I glanced at my competitors - most of them were taller or more muscular and were doing warm-ups I had never seen before. As I snacked on a banana, I cast away any form of worry from my mind. I know their type - the tall, bulky guys who look intimidating but have never done long jump before, usually pulled into it from another event due to their athletic build. They were no reason for concern.

I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Once more, my flawed mindset, paired with my poor preparation, saw me crumble in the first stage of the event. I didn’t even make the top 8 in my best event. While the other athletes precisely measured their run-ups with measuring tapes, down to the centimeter, I lazily marked my run-up with a water bottle after striding a random number of steps. I convinced myself that everything they did was unnecessary, that I was sure to perform well. I failed to heed the warning that had been shoved in my face the day before, and I paid the price for it.

While I wallowed in my misery after a miserable talk with my coach, they announced that the hurdles events were beginning. By that point, I was completely out of focus - not knowing where to report for my event or what to expect of myself. What was the point of me being there? I staggered to the start line as my event began, wondering if I was even in the right age category. As I took my position, my bare knees and fingers touching the rough, hot track, I let everything go.

At that moment, I had no fear of winning or losing - I had come so far and experienced so much. Maybe if I let go of this expectation I held of myself, one where the only option was victory, then losing a race wouldn’t be so crushing. And if I no longer feared loss, I wouldn’t be so scared to try my hardest and admit to myself that it wasn’t enough. So I gave it my everything in that race. Although my body was tired from the long jump in the scalding sun only a few minutes earlier, my mind was certain that I would push until the very end.

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You were probably expecting me to say that I won the 110m hurdles after that moment of inspiration! I finished in third place, just short of an SGFI qualification that would have propelled my athletics journey to an unprecedented level.

Although I didn’t leave Gurgaon with my initial goal of SGFI qualification, I came home with a shiny medal and a new determination engraved in my mind - to give it my all in everything (and to actually go to training consistently).